La Pela

This is the email I sent to my friend Sandra about how Amelia kicked my butt. It's in Spanish. I thought it was very funny and wanted to share it with those readers that speak the language.

Que hace uno cuando su primogenital, el fruto de sus entrañas, el ser al que le dio la vida le da una pela en un parking publico? La saque de una tienda a gritos mientras me halaba el pelo y me daba simultaneamente. Como es chiquita me puede dar en diferentes partes del cuerpo a la ves. Yo le aguanto las manos y la regano pero entonces me tira a morder. Yo como Buena Boricua lo que quiero es dar pa’tras cuando alguien me esta dando. La sente en la acera para que se calmara y la regane. Me dijo “Sowy Mama” y cuando la levanto para irnos empieza a patear de nuevo. La siento en la sillita del carro y empieza a gritar como una loca hasta q llegamos al parking de Gymboree donde se da cuenta q vamos para la clase y se calma.

Pero en la clase lo que nunca. Llorando en el piso cuando no habia instrumentos., Y claro cuando se termina la clase, feliz y divina con todo el mundo. A mi me reconoce una mama. Y yo con ganas de decirle “si yo soy la misma de la tele con una hija agresiva”. Parce q tenia sueño, hambre o sed de justicia. Peroyo lo que queria era llorar!!

A Beating

I was a victim of a beating on a public parking lot on Tuesday afternoon. The perpetrator pulled my ponny tail, slapped my face and kick me in the gut, all at the same time. It helped that she was less than 3 feet tall and I was carrying her in my arms. Yes, the attacker was my soon to be 2 year old daughter.

My human instincts wanted to take control of me. How do you usually react if someone is pounding you for no apparent reason. As I held her hands, she aimed for my arm with her mouth. I kept telling myself "this is your baby girl. She has no idea what she's doing. She's frustrated and has no other way to explain it". The other half of my brain said "F%^* that. Someone is beating the crap out of me in a parking lot. I'm taking my earrings off and punching back". I didn't even call the police on her which would be what I would have done if someone other than the fruit of my loins was kicking my ass.

I sat her on the sidewalk and told her to calm down, that she couldn't hit me and that she needed to say she was sorry. With tears in her eyes she apologized "I'm sowy Mama". So I picked my baby back up and it was like she heard a bell. "Ding" Second round started. By the time we got to the car, my hair was a mess, I had scratches in my arms. I caught a glimpse of myself on the car's window and saw this beaten woman with this unruly cave person in her arms.

I sat her in the car seat and drove her to her Gymboree class. Because that is what you do as a Mom, get the shit kicked out of you as you try to do something nice for your kid. Ay Mama!

The Ednita Effect

My husband knows it. He saw me get all decked out on Saturday evening and he knew what was going on. Hair was perfect, outfit was perfect. I had my nice perfume on. No, I don't have another man. I have another woman.

Her name is Ednita Nazario and she has been with me forever. Before there was Shakira, Pink, Whitney, dare I say Madonna, there was and always will be Ednita. She's our Puerto Rican Diva. Her songs have helped me survived heartache since I was about 15. High School boyfriend, college boyfriends, adulthood relationships. Her voice is outstanding and her songs are those you want to sing along even when sober. Although you sound much better with a few in you.

I only sing with her in the privacy of my car. Men don't get her songs. Even those who speak Spanish. They just don't get her. I have to be alone or with my Puerto Rican "amigas" to become "Ednita". I should say Ednita's back up singer, my life long dream.

So Saturday night when I was going out with 3 other Gymboree Mom's, Steve knew I was going to have a concert. It seemed my I pod did too because the Shuffle kept picking Ednita songs. I blasted the radio and sang my heart out. There is no heartache to get over, just daily stress of being a working mother of a 2 year old and a wife.

I also found a new feature that only my concert venue could provide: my Honda CRV's kick ass air conditioning. I blasted that baby and my hair lifted the right way. I was Ednita, hair blowing in the fake wind and all. I could feel the spotlight on me.

By the time I got to the restaurant I was three songs into my concert and I felt alive. Something about doing the one silly thing you did when you were single can always connect you back to yourself.

I unplugged the I pod and lowered the volume on the radio. I didn't want the valet guy to figure out what I was doing. I fixed my hair and went in to the restaurant for some more fun with my new Mommy girlfriends. Ay Mama!

Winter fear

I am afraid of winter. Not only because I live in one of the cities with the longest winter in the U.S., but because I'm scared of being cooped up in an apartment with a 2 year old during the worst season of the year. So for the last month I've been searching for another class to have her take besides her music class.

This morning we checked out a tots class at a Gymnastics Academy. It was for toddlers 22-36 months old. My daughter is 23 months, tall and strong for her age. Perfect, right? Wrong. We first had to walk an obstacle course for what seemed like 20 minutes too long. Amelia got distracted more than once, but loved hanging from the rings, walking on a low beam and bouncing. We went around and around, not to mention sideways and up and down, since she clearly has the body of a 3 year old but the attention span of a 23 month old. I was sweating and exhausted by the end of the obstacle course portion. She was full of energy and ready to do whatever the heck she wanted, except for following along with her classmates and teacher.

It seemed like every other child was paying attention while mine was trying to discover everything her new surroundings had to offer. My husband tried to reel her in, but she was having none of it. I sat in the circle with the other kids and parents wondering: "what do we do now?"

Here's where I have to be careful and not influence my child. When I was a kid, if I didn't get something the first time, I hated it forever and decided it wasn't for me. It usually involved sports which I've never cared for so it wasn't that big a deal. But, I can see that I can get easily frustrated with other things if I don't "nail it" at once. That is not a trait I want Amelia to inherit or emulate. And what's dangerous is that I tend to be ready to leave class if she doesn't follow along during the first session. I admit I was even embarrassed that my girl wasn't getting it today.

Thankfully, I'm aware of this flaw in my otherwise flawless personality. So when she wasn't really getting level 5 at Gymboree, I gave it a month before pulling her out and going to music class. I waited until the obvious melt down as my cue to leave tumbling this morning. Good for me, right?

Now we are on to soccer for tots. Another sport I don't like to do, but then again, I don't like sports and my athletic ability is zero. Steve is really into the whole soccer thing, so maybe he can run after her for 50 minutes. Ay Mama!