Monday, December 31, 2007

I'm Back Baby!

Hi everyone. After 12 weeks of feeding my baby, burping my baby and changing my baby's diaper, I'm back...baby. Trust me, while in the thick of maternity leave, those days where I couldn't go anywhere because of the weather and it felt all I did was feed and burp Amelia and try to have her nap for more than 45 minutes, I was sooo ready to get back to work.

Work is the one thing I know how to do pretty well. I love my job and with some exceptions, I usually know how to make it right. Not so much with motherhood. It is a constant guessing game and when you think you have something down pat, the little bundle of joy changes the rules of the game. Add to that how sick I was after labor and how I cried every day for 2 weeks thanks to lack of sleep and hormonal mess, and I almost begged my boss to call me back to work.

That's why it was so strange when I started feeling sad about leaving Amelia to go to work on Friday morning. I am blessed with a great schedule that allows me to be home much earlier than most working moms. Amelia has an amazing nanny that has been taking care of her often since she was born, not to mention a great father who took over for me when I was too sick to sit down and feed my own child.

All that said, I realized how attached I've become to my little girl. How I was going to miss seeing her first thing in the morning, especially now that she smiles when I peek into her crib and she's awake. The Wednesday before coming back to work, Amelia caught her first cold. That was the last drop for me. I thought " No one knows her sniffles like I do and what if on Friday morning, her sniffles get worse and I'm not there??".

But once I closed our apartment door and left the baby asleep in her crib and her Dad ready for 6AM duty, I was so happy to be out and about,yet never too far away to check on her sniffles.